I could hardly comprehend that I needed to think about fertility treatment in the midst of preparing for amastectomy.
If you need chemotherapy, it may lead to infertility after treatment, my doctor explained.
But the process ismore complicatedthan a three-minute montage or fertility-clinic subway ad would have you believe.
Pablo Delcan
It’s not a perfect science and you have to go into it understanding the data.
In 2023, she says, the odds are slightly better, at 60-40.
It’s like an inverted pyramid.
And having two normal embryos per child that you want is a good bet.
Embryos arent more viable than eggs, you’re just closer to your outcome, says Dr. Sekhon.
The sooner and younger a patient begins this process, the higher the chance for a successful outcome.
Says Dr. Fino, I typically tell patients to start thinking about egg freezing around age 30.
By age 35 to 37, the drop is much more significant.
Ten years ago, 0% of cycles in our clinic were covered by insurance, says Dr. Sekhon.
But its big corporations, primarily, that offer these benefits to full-time employees.
Without insurance, one egg freezing cycle usually costs at least $10,000 to $15,000 out of pocket.
Whilenumbers do countas an important part of this evolving process, they dont tell the whole story.
Some made the choice after a life-changing diagnosis, others after a life-changing breakup.
These stories have been edited and condensed for clarity.
My husband and I met when I was 35 and began actively trying to conceive two years later.
After months of no luck, I started fertility treatments.
I had a fresh embryo transfer and became pregnant.
The remaining embryos did not make it to the appropriate stage of development so they were discarded.
At 10-weeks pregnant and right after my 38th birthday, I miscarried.
We had no other embryos to transfer.
The personal fertility net I had built for myself failed, and I was crushed.
Its now been just over a year since my first round of IVF.
My husband and I just completed our seventh round.
We currently have four genetically-tested embryos.
It was a grueling, emotional, drawn-out process that at times felt endless.
We are gearing up for a second embryo transfer and are cautiously optimistic.
For one of the first times ever, my period was over a week late.
I had had the flu the month before, which changed my cycle.
Because my period was late, my egg freezing schedule was significantly altered.
In the end, I was grateful to be able to complete the process around Thanksgiving.
I was even giving myself injections upstairs during Thanksgiving dinner.
Im proud and thrilled that I completed the process.
Amber V., 39
Covid took crucial years of our lives.
I looked up one day and I was 37.
At the time, my company covered elective egg freezing, so I thought, Why not?
I was over that after the first two times there were five more to go.
They would come to my apartment every night and wed play music and theyd give me my shots.
The process was two weeks from start to finish.
The only side effect I experienced was bloating.
Pre-retrieval, it was like my usual period bloating which is pretty bad times two.
Post-retrieval, the bloating was even crazier.
I looked at least four-months pregnant for two or three days.
And I was constipated, which was so blah.
Sue W., 33
I decided to freeze my eggs before starting chemotherapy for cancer treatment.
I was injecting myself while I still had surgical drains coming out of my body.
I felt misled into believing it would be more successful than it was.
I thought the egg retrieval was the end, but there were so many more steps.
It was a traumatizing experience for me, and I don’t think it had to be.
I wish doctors and nurses and people in general would focus more on honesty than optimism.
I’m optimistic on my own, tell me the truth!
Since egg freezing isn’t saving your life, it often ends up being squeezed in or rushed.
Timing is so important when it comes to fertility, no matter your situation.
I didn’t even know the right questions to ask or have time to ask them.
Chandler R., 32
My long-term partner is nearly six years older than I am.
I had always imagined that if I were to meet my forever partner, that would be enough.
I considered having a child to be more of a cherry-on-top situation.
We made the joint decision that we saw children as part of our partnership together.
The first big step for us was to get my hormone levels tested.
With further testing, I was officially diagnosed with premature ovarian insufficiency, at age 31.
These status calls were the most anxiety-inducing part of my experience.
They felt like a metaphor for the experience altogether.
The emotional effect post-stimulation was dramatic.
Its hard to explain, but it felt that I was no longer connected to my body.
We are doing a second cycle later, so my process is still ongoing.
I am currently in the middle of the [egg retrieval] experience.
I am trying to take it one day at a time and not have too many expectations.
Im trying not to compare myself to others or to their experiences, even my sisters.
Nicole S., 38
It was nearly a 10-year process to decide to freeze my eggs.
But I was single at the time, and wasnt interested in using a sperm donor.
Eight years later, I learned through friends and research that the success of freezing eggs had improved.
The organization paid for all of my treatment, plus a year of egg storage.
The process was emotional in ways I didnt expect.
It was very emotional to be confronted with the idea that it might be challenging to have biological children.
During my residency, I was mentored by a seasoned female surgeon who consistently addressed the subject of fertility.
She strongly advised that I freeze my eggs if immediate motherhood wasnt on my horizon.
Balancing my demanding job with the frequent clinic visits and hormone injections was challenging.
This led to multiple delays and a bit more stress than I had anticipated.
The experience can be emotionally and logistically challenging, but it’s also incredibly empowering.
We matched for a genetic disease called familial Mediterranean fever.
You don’t have much control over timing it all depends on your body.
I had around 19 eggs retrieved.
Three days later, I got an update on how the eggs were growing and surviving.
On day five, I was told around 13 eggs grew to the correct size and survived.
Those were mixed with my husbands sperm to create embryos and sent to testing.
Two years later, I decided I wanted to begin the journey to pregnancy.
I kept going in so that they could track when I was ovulating.
It was a five-minute procedure with no anesthesia.
I didn’t feel a thing.
Once my hormone levels reached a certain number on day nine post-transfer, the doctor confirmed I was pregnant.
I delivered my beautiful baby girl in January 2023.
I had to sleep sitting up on my couch.
All the while, I looked six-months pregnant.
They ended up doing a procedure to remove some of the fluids.
In the end, I lost about 15 pounds and became completely emaciated.
If I had known what happened to me was possible, I probably wouldnt have done it.
It was incredibly painful and I was already on the fence about having kids.
I definitely dont want them now, so it was all an expensive waste for nothing.
I had a complete meltdown in my car after the visit.
I was hysterical because my little sister had just died from a prescription opioid overdose.
I sat there and was like, Yeah, no.
It’s not for me.
Then my dad died very suddenly and I found myself deeper in grief.
Even the idea of a first date made me cringe.
And during Covid, I lost more time because I wasn’t comfortable dating until I was vaccinated.
This is the right decision for me at this point.
I am shocked that anyone could function at their job while doing the egg freezing process.
I injected myself for 17 long days, sprawled out like a starfish during that time from extreme fatigue.
Extra days also meant extra medicine.
I got lucky that the timing was fine but it added even more stress.
Freezing my eggs was an action I could take to safeguard my future.
I always knew I wanted a family, but at what cost?
Starting this process, I had no idea what I was getting into and what to expect.
My biggest takeaway from egg freezing is that everybody is truly so different.
I left that appointment and called my mom, crying on the street.
I was upset that I couldnt work out, which was a central part of my daily routine.
I really didnt feel like myself, and I was so frustrated at my body, considering it broken.
I was doing everything right and somehow struggling to yield the best results.
After two rounds, I have close to 30 eggs.
This process truly is a numbers game.
Sheila F., 36
I decided that I wanted to focus on my career during my early- to mid-30s.
As physicians, most of us dont have full control over our schedule or where we live.
And often, we dont start receiving a real salary until our 30s.
Everyone responds to hormones a little differently, but skin changes were in full force for me.
I made sure not to pick or mess with the acne to prevent scarring.
I wish that I had frozen my eggs sooner, in my 20s.
I still got plenty of eggs in my mid-30s, but it was more stressful.
My experience overall was really positive.
Once the eggs are retrieved, levels should normally go down and level out.
But this did not happen for me.
It has been a journey itself to work with my doctors to lose the weight and correct things.
I went on a thyroid medication and worked with a nutritionist, but it wasn’t that useful.
Even so, I 100% think this was worth it.
I now have a backup plan for my future and am incredibly grateful for that.
So I decided to freeze my eggs.
My only regret after the process was not doing it sooner.
Dont let fears of pain, discomfort, or the unknown hold you back.
I would have done it years earlier had I known how easy and fast it would be.
The first big surprise was the vaginal ultrasound on the first day of your period.
Honestly, I think this was the worst part of the entire process for me.
Womens bodies are amazing and it’s crazy that we dont learn more about this in school.
I feel free to plan the life I want, on the timeline I choose.
She was incredibly candid about it and helped me see the value in doing it earlier rather than later.
Living in New York made budgeting to freeze my eggs nearly impossible.
I had heard about Cofertility through connections on LinkedIn.
I paid nothing out of pocket.
In the meantime, I completed a psychological evaluation and legal consultation to review the donation contract.
Its helpful to understand how well my frozen eggs will perform if and when I decide to use them.
It took me about a year to finally take the first steps.
Overall, I had a pretty great experience.
The only downside was the difficult recovery, which I wasnt expecting.
I was very visibly bloated for several days, to the point where some clothes wouldnt fit properly.
And when I would walk, I could feel the fluid around my ovaries and abdominal organs moving.
My first consultation with the fertility clinic was a lot to process.
I got a transvaginal ultrasound.
He saw excess fluid and, because of my family history of cancer, that set off alarm bells.
No one could find what he saw.
At this point, I was starting to see problems with the clinic.
This caused me to take a step back and explore other clinics.
As a Black cisgender woman, it was important to me that I felt welcome and heard.
After all of that time and stress, I was in a busy season with work and personally.
Id found a new clinic, but decided to wait four months before freezing my eggs.
During those months, I wanted to optimize my chances for successful freezing as much as I could.
Egg freezing doesn’t guarantee a baby but it does give me some peace of mind.
This process is one of the few times in life where your body is fully in control.
It was painful as a single woman that wasnt close to having a family of her own.
I didnt know what jot down of questions I should be asking.
Sarah W., 34
I first considered egg freezing when I was 28 years old and in business school.
It was nerve-racking going off birth control to get the baseline testing.
I had been on it for 14 years.
After the baseline testing, I went back on birth control so they could time everything on their end.
My body wasnt used to the cramps and the drastic hormonal differences.
I was told I could go on walks and did.
I was extremely bloated for a few days and my breasts were pretty tender for about a month after.
My company covered up to $14,000.
I had to pay for everything up front and then I got reimbursed.
I love the safety net of having them and that I have bought myself time.
I’m probably not going to meet anyone in the immediate future.
I find it to be just so cringe, and maybe that’s me being a little bit jealous.
You’re an adult.
it’s possible for you to do this yourself.
My results weren’t amazing.
They retrieved only four eggs.
So I was like, Oh, fuck, I don’t even have half a child.
You also know it only takes one.
But I was feeling kind of discouraged.
The doctor did encourage me to do it again.
There’s no baby, no nothing.
Your body thinks that you’re pregnant, but you’re not.
This time around, they retrieved four eggs, but only three were viable.
It’s just something that you have so little control over.
Now I’m like, I’m down $25,000 and I may never use these eggs.
I scheduled my egg freezing treatment immediately.
My emotions and reactions were completely out of my hands.
Everything felt like it was happening to me without my having any agency.
As a total control freak, I’ve never felt so out of sorts.
And I think it felt even worse because I wasn’t expecting to feel that way.
The whole process took me just over two weeks, but my recovery took a bit longer than expected.
The worst and most persistent part of my recovery was continued hormonal breakouts, which lasted about two months.
My skin has never been worse, particularly in the first two weeks following my egg retrieval.
But at that point, it wasn’t normalized.
It was more, Oh, have you heard this is something that women can do?
So I began looking into the cost of egg freezing.
By then it would’ve been 2015, and it was prohibitively expensive for me.
In 2019, I got a new job and egg freezing coverage was a company benefit.
I knew for sure I was going to take advantage of it.
I did a cycle in September 2020, at age 35, and then another cycle that December.
I really didn’t know what I was getting into.
I didn’t quite realize how emotional it was going to be to start injecting myself.
The spike in estrogen actually made me feel really euphoric.
The rest of the hormonal stuff made me feel bloated, but not sad.
For me, it was a milestone.
I was really determined.
I was also just so awestruck that this was a benefit at the company where I worked.
I was like, Let’s do this before they take it back!
It felt too good to be true.
Of course it would be an OR, but I was picturing a regular gynecologist’s office.
And it was really tough for me not to be able to exercise during this time.
Exercise is my best mental health tool.
During the process, I was in a new relationship, but it hadnt even been a year.
My partner was totally understanding of that, and it took pressure off of him too.
When I was 37 and my now husband was 40, we started trying to get pregnant naturally.
I assumed we would have a hard time the odds were not in our favor.
But we got pregnant immediately.
Our son was born last summer, and I am so excited about being a mom.
Recently I got a bill for the storage charges on my frozen eggs.
I was looking at it going, Oh shit, what do we do now?
Do we really want to spend $2,000 a year on freezing these eggs?
And for how long?
It would’ve freed up so much mental energy and time.
I wish that this was a regular conversation for people with ovaries to have with their doctor at 25.
Abigail D., 35
I don’t know if I want to be a mom.
It’s not, like, a flat-out no.
I don’t know.
I look at egg freezing that way.
I’m not envisioning having a baby later.
It’s really just, like, maybe in 10 years it happens…. or maybe it doesn’t.
I come from a family where both of my parents have been divorced many times over.
The thing my mom always tells me is people change so dramatically.
you’re able to start over many times.
I started looking into egg freezing years ago.
And it’s obscenely expensive in the United States.
So I decided to look into going to Mexico.
I didnt want to spend more than 10 grand.
First I thought, Oh, I’ll do it in Cancun and have a mini holiday.
But I looked at where the top clinics are and ended up going to Mexico City.
I saw a lot of Americans there.
I would advise anyone doing this to be close to their clinic.
I got a super nice Airbnb that was a six-minute walk.
I wanted to feel really comfortable.
The first week of injections, I was walking around Mexico City.
By the second week I was so uncomfortable, I just wanted to sit and not be talked to.
If I had to commute on a train, I wouldve wanted to die.
You’re empowered by the decision, but your body does not feel good.
You’re doing some intense stuff to it.
Post-retrieval was the hardest part for me.
You don’t get to work out for about two weeks.
I retrieved 15 eggs; seven of them were solid to freeze and I was good with that number.
We saw this as one procedure that is taking eggs and putting them in cryo.
It’s not a baby, it’s not tied to motherhood.
It is just a procedure like any other procedure and that’s it.
Kim H., 30
I tried donating my eggs in college because I really needed the money.
When they found out I have ADHD and mental illness in my family, though,I was denied.
I paid $10,220 out of pocket.
I started with 31 follicles and got 20 eggs.
I desperately want a daughter.
Megan D., 43
My now ex-husband and I had talked about having kids, but then life happened.
I ended up starting a company, his job took off, and time got away from us.
I had been told all kinds of horror stories about how you feel during the egg retrieval process.
The first week was totally fine.
My sleep was a little disrupted, but I didn’t really notice anything.
The second week of injections was when things started to change.
My whole body felt very tender.
Even finding a place to do the injections became hard because everywhere hurt.
I was fortunate that the egg retrieval procedure went very smoothly.
When I woke up, the doctor wrote how many eggs I got on a little piece of paper.
I remember being like, Is this good?
And they said it was very good, especially for my age.
I think I got 14 eggs.
Out of the 14 eggs retrieved, only 11 of them matured enough to be fertilized with sperm.
Of those 11, only six grew into embryos.
Then we did genetic testing on those six and only three of them were genetically healthy.
In retrospect, I wish I had frozen embryosandeggs.
It is not a knock on your partner or the state of your relationship.
I never would’ve guessed in 2017 that in 2023 I’d be divorced.
The embryos came up when we were in the process of negotiating.
We had already discussed this and decided when we signed our initial paperwork.
For the donation, we worked with Embryo Options, which makes it super easy to do.
When I got divorced, I was still set on not having kids.
But, again, I always feel like you never know where life’s going to take you.
I met with a physician when I was 41, going on 42.
She walked me through what the egg freezing process would look like at that age.
I never felt like I threw money away.
It was an investment in myself, to give myself all the options.
It’s like contributing to your 401K.
As you get older, you want to have money for retirement.
