Welcome toDoing It, a column where sex educator Varuna Srinivasan explores the deep connections between sex and emotions.
Some of the most memorable scenes from movies and television aresexscenes.
The sex we see in TV and movies can influence our behavior in real life.
Photo: Getty Images
It can be fun to pull inspiration from different media!
But, as the old adage goes, its wise not to believe what you see on TV.
Obviously, its scripted and often unrealistic, but it also can perpetuate harmful practices.
Women were objectified, sexual assault was passed off as a joke, and transphobia was rampant.
Many people who were thrown into those toxic work environments have since opened up about their experiences.
Thus: The rise of the intimacy coordinator.
Here, Steinrock and Vyaso offer some on-set tips that translate quite well to real life.
Let go of the perfect image.
Television is story and fantasy, and real life is not that, Steinrock says.
Even the most authentically portrayed scene of intimacy is going to be different than real life.
How do you do this?
Think of yourself as an artist, darling.
See where that takes you.
Move away from the idea of replicating something you saw on TV and down the path of creative pursuit.
Don’t wing it when it comes to boundaries.
This plan can be adapted for real life too.
Set yourself up for success while taking the pressure off.
What happens if (you or) your partner realizes they arent interested in playing the part?
Make a pact to be flexible and collaborative throughout the entire process.
It’s essential you work as a team, especially when it comes to trying something new.
Just as in acting, our bodies responses and moods fluctuate, our boundaries shift.
Steinrock reminds us that consent is reversiblesomething you should make clear with your partner in those pre-sex conversations.
Choreograph intimacy like a dance.
Once youre in the scene, there are a lot of things that might throw you off your game.
This could include a back rub, a slight caress to the face, or sensual eye contact.
Intimacy is as much about listening as it is about expressing.
Over time, you create a choreographed routine where you know all the steps.
