Welcome toDoing It, a column where sex educator Varuna Srinivasan explores the deep connections between sex and emotions.

This month, they offer a beginner’s guide to getting into BDSM.

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If you think the tags sound intense, I promise you the audio was even more so.

The narrators voice was deep and husky with a tinge of a British accent.

In Teresas case, it was theRocky Horror Picture Show.

The 43-year-old nurse from Wisconsin first had her interest piqued in part thanks to her crush on Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

I wanted to be a dominatrix so bad that I even had a name picked out: Mistress Spitfire!

BDSM can offer an opportunity to explore power dynamics, control, and fantasies in a safe environment.

Many people just end up thinking that BDSM is purely about pain, intimidation, and/or fear.

For 30-year-old yoga instructor Sunaina, finding a healthy practice with BDSM meant mirroring it with their yoga practice.

Communicate, honey.

It is absolutely critical to actively communicate your expectations and boundaries with every potential play partner, Elle says.

Enger recommends people keep their BDSM relationship continually consensual, meaning that consent is not one and done.

Work with your partner, not against.

For instance, Teresa loves to be choked.

When her ex-partner expressed uncertainty about choking her, it meant coming up with a shared goal.

My last partner was hesitant about choking me because they felt like it was violence against women.

I explained that it is something that I really enjoy and its consensual, she recalls.

This creative problem solving meant having both partners needs met.

Let go of any preconceived notions about BDSM.

For so long, I thought there was only one way to do BDSM.

I had dismissed getting into it initially because I falsely believed it had to involve dungeons and bondage.

But the spectrum of power play is something that anyone, including me, can indulge in.

Enger explains that BDSM is just as much emotional and psychological as it is physical.

Finding a community of like minded people might be the best part of diving into the world of BDSM.

In yoga, sangha represents a supportive community.

Seek out similar spaces in the BDSM world that emphasize education, inclusion, and safety, Sunaina says.

It gave me a lot of support and a feeling of being witnessed.