The jet-black cream came in a red-and-black tube with a flashy gold applicator.

If Pakistan had a national eyeliner, it would be Hashmi Kajal.

As aPakistani Americanteenager growing up in a Philadelphia suburb, traditional kohl was a talisman of sorts.

A selection of traditional kohl eyeliners and kohl eyeliners

Prop stylist: Samantha Margherita

I looked different than almost everyone in my town.

But I still wore kajal, its lush pigment defining my heavy-lidded eyes.

Kohl is a magic spell, a declaration of intention, a will to power.

Image may contain Accessories Accessory Home Decor Handbag Bag Furniture and Purse

In South Asia, kohl may be kept in small brass bottles. By Far tote. JW Pei bag. Jewelry, counterclockwise from top: Prounis chain, pendant, and ring; Sauer bracelet; Prounis ring; and Sauer ring. Prop stylist: Samantha Margherita

After remaining in an abusive relationship, using kohl helped me gather the pieces and transform into myself again.

Kohl was, and still is, a home for me.

No matter where I am or what challenges I confront, it is an asset both humble and powerful.

I decided to dig a little deeper into the history, sacred practices, and controversies surrounding kohl.

In South Asia, kohl may be kept in small brass bottles.

Prop stylist: Samantha Margherita

WhatIsKohl?

(My grandmother keeps hers this way.)

This is how our grandmothers and great-grandmothers made cosmetic kajal, often keeping it in small brass bottles.

A lot of women seek comfort in that."

“Prolonged utility can cause excessive lead storage in the body, which impacts the brain.”

The brain damage can lead to cognitive dysfunction and neurological disorders.

In the U.S., the FDA has banned kohl as a color additive.

“It’ll create the impression that your [liner] has smudged really nicely. "

Neither contain traditional kohl color additives, so both are legal in the U.S.