For about 45 minutes, a stylist pressed my3C curlsinto bone-straight silky strands.
It was the first time I’d ever gotten my hair pressedand I was hooked.
My negative perception of my natural hair started with that first silk press.
Illustration by Ana Jarén
There was not a curly hairstyle in sightneither onscreen nor IRL.
All the influences around me pointed to the idea that my natural hair was not good enough.
At the time, I didnt think of it as trauma.
Shani Hillian
I just thought of it as making my hair pretty.
It took dedication and I was on board, but deep down I never truly embraced my curls.
I simply tolerated them.
Shani Hillian
At the time, I didnt think of it as trauma.
I just thought of it as making my hair pretty.
On Feb 19, 2021, that event happened when I gave birth to my daughter.
She splashed and giggled in the bathtub as I sat on the side carefully massaging shampoo into her scalp.
As Ive watched my daughters natural hair grow, Ive felt my inner child watching her with me.
It’s like my younger self is healing, seeing my daughter live and love her hair unapologetically.
My childhood was filled with hours of detangling, tidying, and styling.
Shell take more control of her hair as she grows more independent.
Its already a joy to see that she takes great pleasure and pride in her hair.
If she grows an affinity for straight hair, so be it!
But itll be a choice informed by the truth that her curls are just as beautiful and valid.
In the process, Im breaking the cycle of my hair trauma.
Discover more fromIt’s Textured:
Now, watch Saweetie rate beauty trends:
