Halseys voice is her currency.
Shes in the kitchen of her home in Los Angeles County.
And thats when she tells me: I didnt take my prenatals.
She closes her eyes and shakes her head.
Our Zoom confessional booth.
So pregnant that by the time you read this its likely they will have already given birth.
Because the one thing theyve always done is change.
My favorite place is Target, she says.
I love Panera Bread.
I love the suburbs.
It calms me down.
You have to remember, this is what the world sees, right?
I had the most basic name.
I lived in the most boring place, they recall.
I felt really unremarkable.
Tiffany & Co. cuffs.
Photographed by Jackie Nickerson.
Fashion stylist: Law Roach.
Hair: Marty Harper.
Set design: Bette Adams.
We are, all of us, watching Halsey acquaint herself with celebrity in real time.
I went to a hibachi restaurant the other night because I was craving fried rice.
And I was like, I feel so calm right now.
It felt like I was in New Jersey again.
The judginess started from the beginning, she tells me.
Alev and I have been really good friends for four years.
Youre the person Im supposed to start a family with.
A lot of people had opinions about that.
She says opinions as if its italicized, a euphemism for a far uglier word.
It feels safe to assume those opinions werent the loving, supportive, encouraging kind.
Nobody knew I was dating someone, they explain.
One night we went somewhere really public together.
It was all very dramatic, like a movie scene.
I remember sitting in the car and being like, I can never see him again.
I like him too much to ruin his life and drag him into all this craziness.
Its not that big of a deal.
Then she pauses for a moment.
Ive never talked about him before, they tell me.
There is something many things so unguarded about Halsey.
She is intrinsically open.
But if anyone can do it, it just might be Halsey.
It feels good to root for someone who uses her microphone to spread a gospel of love and inclusion.
The whole thing to remember about pronouns and identities is that theyre not meant for other people.
Theyre meant for you to help better understand yourself.
To create a similar look: Flash Color Case by Make Up For Ever.
They even tell you when they dont take their prenatals.
I was on so many medications Diclegis and Zofran and all these anti-nausea, anti-vomiting medications.
Is my baby okay?
I was so angry with myself.
You have one fucking job!
Your bodys doing everything else, you cant even do that.
I felt like such a failure.
Internet, if youre listening, are you really going to drag a person for not taking her vitamins?
Yes, of course you are, because youre the internet.
But rest assured, Halseys doctor gave the singer and her growing baby a clean bill of health.
Move along, prenatal judges.
Nothing to see here.
When this pregnancy started, I was like, Youre going to do yoga and eat flaxseed.
Youre going to use essential oils and hypnobirth and meditate and fucking journal every single day.
Then she deadpans: I have done none of those things.
I eat cookies and had a bagel every single day for the first five months of my pregnancy.
The kind thats millennia older and rooted in the deepest pockets of our soul.
Id be staring at the ceiling, going, What does this mean?
I dont spend that time questioning or wondering anymore.
The whole thing to remember about pronouns and identities is that theyre not meant for other people.
Theyre meant for you to help better understand yourself.
But subtlety isnt always the easiest sell.
I dont do press anymore.
I just dont translate very well in print.
Even saying this is going to get me in trouble.
I already know that it is.
Oh, my God!
In 2020, Halsey releasedManic, an autobiographical album, which featured other artists.
Identity is an easy thing if it coalesces with what the world says it should be.
And something as simple as a diary becomes anything but simple.
Halsey, who has a white mother and a Black father, calls herself white passing.
Has she ever benefited from being white-presenting?
Oh, yeah, she says, for sure.
You want your kids to have an advantage in life.
That unfortunately puts them in a position of denying their heritage.
But Halsey comes back with: My little brothers name is Sevian.
Hes brown, not phenotypically Black; he just looks like a light-skin, mixed guy.
Theyre going to grow up in this kind of multicultural home and I have new challenges because of that.
Its hard enough for any of us to figure out who the hell we are.
Its not like you tell your mom and dad and then everythings all good.
you gotta prepare yourself for that.
But theres also a flip side, one that says you dont have to have it all figured out.
Who the hell does?
What if I change my mind?
Its not for other people to validate you or determine if your queerness is real enough.
To emphasize this, she assumes the persona of, presumably, the lesbian police.
Wearing a stern expression, they point their finger: Have you been loyal to your label?
Have you done all the right lesbian things?
Its a funny moment, but its also sort of melancholy.
And we get to choose it.
We are the only ones who define us.
Its an existential idea, but I sense its hardly the only one she thinks about.
This wasnt an interview, she says, laughing.
This was a therapy session.
