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Welcome toDoing It, a column where sex educator Varuna Srinivasan explores the deep connections between sex and emotions.
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This month, they explore the complicated business of orgasming if you have a vulva.
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Ive had many people ask me how to know if theyve had an orgasm, she says.
You know, women screaming in pleasure two minutes into having vaginal penetrative sex.
And it hadnt come from some intense sex session, but rather making out with her boyfriend for hours.
I was absolutely gobsmacked.
Just a whole lot of tingling.
Every man Ive ever been with could easily cum while I was left to figure out my orgasm.
Well fear not, dear reader.
I am here to helpyoufigure out if you are, indeed, having an orgasm.
A clitoral orgasm results from external stimulation, she explains.
Vaginal orgasm, which is felt inside the vagina and is a result of internal stimulation.
For instance, the blended orgasma classiccombines stimulation of more than one erogenous zone.
I love this scene for many reasons, but primarily because its an accurate portrayal of the human body.
For some, it might help to approach the process almost scientifically.
Kamakshi, a 22-year-old student, decided to run an experiment when it came to her first orgasm.
She heard a theory that postulated the positive relationship between coffee ingestion and intensity of an orgasm.
I chugged a cup of black coffee before bed andmasturbatedin order to test out this theory, Kamakshi recalls.
It was the peak of self discovery and I felt so good about myself.
Despite chugging coffee, I slept so well that night.
Damn, I love a woman in STEM.
What an Orgasm Feels Like
An orgasm can be experienced on many different levels.
It can be a physical, emotional, mental or spiritual experience.
You may cry, laugh maniacally, see colors, thank god, scream, or sweat.
Basically, you might have the most multi-sensorial experience of your life.
Twenty-two-year-old sex educator Sriha agrees.
In general, Akshaya says her orgasms exist on two levels.
Its common to feel shame when we fail to get there during an intimate encounter.
The body does not respond well to pressure (just ask the millions of people with ED!)
The acceptance of the body being desirable and satisfied matters more than archetypal climax.