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In the evolutionary sense, libido or a sex drive exists to further human reproduction.

This biological need for sexual activity drives our desires and sexual interests.

photo of two hands reaching toward each other but not quite touching

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A persons libido is influenced by hormones, age, and other environmental factors.

In a psychological sense, libido helps us understand our sexuality.

Who are we attracted to and how much?

What turns you off?

What turns you on?

And low libido manifests differently in the sexes.

There is growing research that shows some chronic diseases, such asdiabetesand hypertension, affect libido.

Antidepressants and mental health conditions also have the potential to lower libido.

Remember when I mentioned women are more likely to experience low libido than men?

While I can achieve and sustain anorgasm, feelings of arousal are hard to produce.

A lot of the pressure to perform is coming from myself.

Even worse is the feeling that your body is broken.

Almost everyone in these groups are there to find answers to two questions: Whats wrong with me?

And how do I fix it?

Dont rule out that it could be a health issue, but get the data," she says.

What are your habits?

Where are your hormones at?

Where is your relationship?

What is going on in your life?

These are all things that need to be investigated.

My body and mind have never been on the same page.

My body sees penetration as a threat, even though I don’t have any memories of abuse.

This issue has significantly affected my libido and mental health over the last 10 years.

I also have vitamin D and B deficiency along with diagnosed PCOS.

I had never felt the need to address my low libido [until I got married.]

My doctor asked if I was married.

I said yes, but we don’t have penetrative sex.

She laughed and said, Wow, your husband is so patient to stay.

She asked me if I was married.

Our love language, surprisingly, is touch and we really enjoy cuddling and touching each other constantly.

Alice, 25, India

I have a complicated relationship with sex.

When I was young, I used to talk to a lot of men on the internet.

I was 13 but these men would claim to love me and ask me to send nudes.

These feelings have been a primary cause of issues in all my relationships.

I don’t really enjoy sex with my husband because my pleasure has never been centered.

These memories continue to haunt me and affect my sex life with my husband.

I dont really enjoy sex with my husband because my pleasure has never been centered.

He has never made an effort to help me orgasm.

Im trying to work up the courage to see a therapist.

Although I have a low libido, I have always enjoyed self-pleasure.

Iwatch porn, especially other women while masturbating.

Truth be told, I am still struggling with my libido.

I want to work on many things, but I don’t know where to start.

I have truly never had a high libido unless I’m in a very committed relationship.

I have orgasmed with only one of my many partners, many months into our relationship.

I often felt incomplete.

Like I was frigid or a prude or not daring enough because I didn’t feel horny.

It was affecting my academics and self-esteem, and so I decided to seek help.

Sex for me now is a choice.

I realized there was nothing fundamentally wrong with my body.

Sex for me now is a choice.

I realized there was nothing fundamentally wrong with my body unless I was dissatisfied with my libido.

I am shocked now that I was able to have sex that many times in a day!

I have been with my current partner for the past two years and we dont have sex that often.

I always find my relationship with pleasure odd.

I can go without sex for weeks.

I always find my relationship with pleasure odd.

Its also possible that my PCOS is one of the reasons for my low libido.

I also very very very rarely feel the need to masturbate.

I almost never do it.

My libido fluctuates a lot depending on my mental health.

So, when I have better days I orgasm quicker or want sex or initiate it a lot more.

But those days are rare.

It doesn’t bother me anymore and I have never really tried to fix it.

I have never felt like [my low libido] was something I needed to fix.

I can orgasm but I have no desire to.

I havent masturbated in months and it doesnt really bother me.

Occasionally I get sexually aroused but it is fleeting.

I am totally fine in this asexual period (for lack of a better term) of my life.

I still have vivid memories of it.

I work with an ob-gyn to deal with the effect of the assault of my pelvic floor.

They were incredibly validating and encouraged me to start pelvic floor therapy.

However, schooling demands got in the way and I discontinued it after session three.

I learned that I prefer oral sex or mutual masturbation to vaginal penetration.

And I do well when I am touching myself.

I currently use a hormonal implant as birth control.

I am still trying to understand how to find a work around.

But my partner is aware of my issues and is very flexible on how to go about it.

I also often indulge in lingerie and avibrator.

Emma, 46, Utah

My husband and I have been together nearly 20 years now.

Now, I might do it once a month, maybe.

My husband and I are often affectionate, but I dont usually want more than just hugs and kisses.

If we do have sex its often reluctantly because I want to satisfy him.

I want to want sex more, but it also is a feeling of meh.

I have mentioned in the last couple years at my yearly checkups that I have a low sex drive.

The response I get is hmmm ok, anything else?

Ive had my hormones checked once, per my request, and was told they were normal.

I feel like because of my weight nothing gets taken seriously.

Ive never been explicitly told to lose weight to fix all my problems, but its been implied.

I feel like theres got to be a solution for this.

I feel like I want to want sex more, but it also is a feeling of meh.

I often wonder if this is just how it is for older women.

Im on the downslope to 50 with the potential for early menopause due to my hysterectomy.

Interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity.