Despite their depiction in pop culture, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are nothing to be ashamed of.
The pair met at a skating party and locked eyes.
Courtney, a 34-year-old entrepreneur from St. Louis, answered, Doesnt everybody have it?
Bella Geraci/Getty Images
In fact, it is a vital part ofconsent.
Unfortunately, our culture makes this far more difficult than it needs to be.
Before I could, they told me they wereHIV positive.
I said, Its no big deal.
We will just use a condom.
I have herpes I’m not worried about HIV.
We just looked into each other’s eyes, smiled, and started kissing.
The pair went on to date for three years.
Communication Is Key
Sharing your STI status can be a more nuanced endeavor for some.
For instance, Courtney typically follows the STARS framework created byDr.
Stigma can be further exacerbated by intersecting identities like class, race, sexual orientation and gender expression.
Chase felt devastated when he first learned of his diagnosis.
There were no resources for me to turn to.
I became very depressed and isolated myself from everyone.
When people have sex, exchange of fluids is bound to happen.
It is a contact sport, after all.
To Chriss surprise, this partner’s reaction to his STI status was very welcoming.
Thankfully, he was perfectly accepting, and that was that.
Someone who would turn their nose up over my STI status probably wouldnt be my cup of tea anyway.
There is nothing that makes someone with an STI innately bad, dirty, or immoral.
“My disclosure is an invitation to connect with me.
It’s vulnerable, and most important, it’s a conversation.”
My disclosure is an invitation to connect with me, explains Courtney.
It’s vulnerable, and most important, it’s a conversation.
It can be easy to blame and be hard on yourself.
Make a plan for yourself.
conversation about your status.
Disclosure might look differently based on the diagnosis.
For both our safety, I insist that we use protection.
My most recent STI testing was done on [date].
It might also help to follow up that you dont have any open sores or an active infection.
If you have an active infection, consider abstaining from sexual activity to prevent transmission to your partners.
Disclose your dating habits and pose the same question.
Share information on your treatment plan, if you feel comfortable doing so.
Remember: This is a learning process, and its OK to stumble sometimes.
