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It is often said grief comes in waves.
Illustration by Clara Hendler / Getty Images
For me, it was a tsunami.
It began with a phone call last year when my brother was diagnosed withlung cancerduring a routine check-up.
Though doctors initially thought they had caught the cancer early, it had already begun its inexorable spread.
On the first day of my brother’s chemotherapy, my mother fell and fractured her spine.
Luckily, I lived a few blocks away and was able to step in to help.
I slept with my phone by my pillow, ready to race over at a moments notice.
My usual coping mechanisms deserted me.
I stopped sleeping, working out fell by the wayside, and I had trouble eating.
My brother died in hospice 10 months to the day from his diagnosis.
My mother died six weeks later.
I was left physically and emotionally depleted and it showed.
Looking in the mirror only reminded me of what had happened.
Loss these days is everywhere.
The result can wreak havoc on our skin as well as our health.
Lack of sleep may also reduce your skin’s ability to battle ultraviolet damage and free radicals.
I know that he’s right because I’d been there before.
Years earlier, my husband had died suddenly, leaving me alone with a young child to raise.
(Yes, I’m aware that I sound like the Typhoid Mary of family relationships.)
I soon developed bags under my eyes that should have taken years to appear.
I didn’t want the loss I had been through to be written on my face.
I wanted it to be my story to tell or not.
(Kolker did not perform my procedure.)
For me, the procedure was an integral part of healing.
It was an act of optimism.
Not everyone, of course, wants or needs plastic surgery after facing a loss.
In fact, Kolker recommends an incremental approach.
“The duration and sequence of the grieving process are different for everyone.
When you feel ready to reengage, start slowly,” he says.
“At first, only at-home treatments should be considered.
Specifically, antioxidants and peptide products could be most helpful.”
Anolik agrees with these ingredient recommendations.
Carrieanne Reichardt recently lost her brother to cancer, and the constant worry left its mark on her face.
She went to Kolker for Botox.
“It was something I knew I would do at some point, but this expedited it.”
While no injectable can heal the pain of losing someone, it gave her back a sense of confidence.
“I went from looking tired all the time to looking more alert and calmer,” she says.
I started exercising and eating healthier, but my face didn’t get the memo.
I was finally ready to seek help for the outside just as I had for the inside.
(Okay, yes, maybe just a wee bit better.)
“The neck is addressed by tightening the muscles as well as sculpting the overlying fat and skin.
“What I do is elective, but its still surgery,” he says.
“Grief usually follows a period of selflessness from taking care of someone to mourning.
Plastic surgery is something you do for yourself,” Levine says.
“There’s nothing sad about it.
It’s empowering.”
and excitement (no more jowls staring back at me on Zoom!).
“This is for you,” she said.
It is the last thing I remember before waking up.
I know, though, that my mother would approve.
