Your chemistry is palpable, but uncertainty lingers.
Youre approachingthatpart of the date.
Meet the Experts:
Why sharing your STI status is so important.
Bella Geraci
Instead, I frame the experience as a part of sexual self-care ritual.
But while these at-home options are convenient, they do not replace a visit to your health care provider.
Without regular testing or EPT, partners may continue to pass the infection back-and-forth if only one is treated.
It’s not your fault these conversations aren’t second-nature.
Being able to have these types of talks takes education and practice.
The conversation is most useful when it happens early on.
If someone says they’ve been “tested for everything,” ask them to clarify.
Even if you dont have an STI, disclosure is still important.
Bring it up in a way that makes both of you feel more at ease.
The best or right thing to say is what feels authentic.
I saw this post on Instagram that reminded me I probably need to go.
Maybe we can go together or order a kit?
If you feel the same, it might be a good idea to talk about our testing histories.
I’ll share mine if you share yours?
Hey, [Name]!
My last STI test was [DATE] and I have/do not have any known STIs.
Sexting has been fun and I’d really like to continue IRL.
I recommend creating a brief script on the Notes app of your phone.
That way, if you’re feeling nervous you have an outline to pull from.
It’s never too late to have the talk.
Getting tested and then sharing your results after prior intimacy is still helpful for you and your partners.
Can we pause and take space for this?"
Navigating testing with multiple partners solidifies why regular testing is so important.
If you getcold sores, you should disclose that, too.
Cold sores, a.k.a.oral herpes, can transmit to the genitalsif performing oral sex on a partner.
How to respond if someone tells you they have an STI.
Dr. Fogel Mersy says that folks living with STIs can experience feelings of shame, isolation, and fear.
If it’s your first time navigating a positive disclosure: Thank you.
I know these conversations can be tough to have.
Do you have any resources that you recommend?
If you’ve had an STI before: Thank you for sharing that with me.
If you’re living with the same STI: Thank you.
If you’re ready to move forward at the moment of disclosure: Thank you.
I am [adjective of choice] attracted to you/turned on by you and this doesn’t change that.
You probably know more about this than me, what are you most comfortable with barrier-wise?
What to do if you’re struggling to find affordable or inclusive testing providers.
Available testing does not always equal accessible and inclusive testing.
Because of this, some individuals may not be as forthcoming with providers about their sexual behaviors.
