Welcome toDoing It, a column where sex educator Varuna Srinivasan explores the deep connections between sex and emotions.
Sassfirst discovered her interest in BDSM on the internet.
However, I was unsure how to describe it.
Moreover, [I was] hesitant to express this out of worry of being misunderstood.
Sasss path tounderstanding her kinkwas kicked off through porn.
I viewed some porn that was much more on the rough side, with lots of impact play.
I observed my reactions and responses to it and was intrigued.
Most of us have heard the words kink and fetish.
(Like Sass, my first introduction into this world was through porn.)
The idea of people watching is super hot to me.
She learned more about her kink through her job on Only Fans.
Im an exhibitionist, and the idea of people watching me is super hot to me, Tricia tellsAllure.
Is it because I’mLeo?
According to Venus, this method includes honesty, acceptance, and existence.
It became a requirement for me to be in a relationship with sadistsI needed that.
Sometimes, the best and easiest way to disclose a kink is to do it in a straightforward way.
Once we start talking about our interests, I share mine and then I name them.
For example, Ill say, I enjoy being spanked.
Overall, I like impact play.
I could barely orgasm during sex unless I was getting a little beating as foreplay.
As humans, we love a good binary.
But is as black and white as we think?
(Answer: Nope.)
And can we find a balance?
Kinks and fetishes arequite common, yetkink shamingis still woefully prevalent.
Emerson identifies as someone who has a few kinks and fetishes.
Finding community in play parties and online can help strengthen your identity.
Sadly, though, kink shaming can even come from within the community.
Sass recalls hearing statements from peers who regarded her masochism and preferences as too much and too extreme.
I have come to own and accept that I like what I like.
Consent and aftercareare absolutely essential to the kink community.
These experiences and affinities all exist on a spectrum.
Plus, who knows?
If you keep an open mind, you might find a new favorite activity for your own private life.
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