It’s rare for young women to be diagnosed withbreast cancer.
“But even given that, it’s the most common cancer among younger patients.”
The thought of stage four breast cancer in your 20s or 30s seems unimaginable…until it happens.
In March 2021, I celebrated being three years cancer-free, my heart bursting with gratitude.
In April 2021, I found out my breast cancer had metastasized in my right femur.
Truly, in a moment, my worst nightmare became my reality.
Thats because all I ever knew was the negative connotation of the word “metastatic.”
But as it turns out, thatisn’t the only meaning of this devastating diagnosis.
Life is about perspective, and positivity has always been my shield.
I couldn’t change my diagnosis, but I could control my mindset.
Though heartbreaking, I have always said breast cancer would never define me.
This stage four diagnosis is no exception.
So I have refused to skip a beat.
There might not be a cure (yet!
), but there is always hope.
Today, tomorrow, and every day after.
I trust in research and new treatments, and I trust in the timing of my life.
In June 2021, my doctor gave me some advice two simple words: “Celebrate life.”
This isnt just about me.
Here, in their own words, are some of their stories.
Susan, 32
Young women get a lot of, “You’re too young.”
It had already spread to my spine.
It felt strange because I was the healthiest I’d been in my entire life.
When I found out that it was metastatic and before I had done more research I was devastated.
I was crying and screaming.
I couldn’t believe it.
From what I understood, it was terminal.
It felt like so many of my hopes and dreams of the future came crashing down.
it’s possible for you to really live a full life.
It doesn’t have to be a whole part of me.
In a lot of ways, I actually feel better than I did before my diagnosis.
I am not unrealistic about this disease.
I don’t even think about it all the time anymore.
And Im still in heavy treatment.
In a lot of ways, I actually feel better than I did before.
I am fully living my life.
I love to dance.
I’m super active.
Pre-diagnosis, I was surfing three hours every single day, five or six times a week.
You couldn’t get me out of the water.
I just went surfing and caught this beautiful wave fully bald in Montauk, New York.
I fell off and worried that I hurt myself, so I had to stop for a little bit.
My doctors put me on probation [laughs].
But I am still working out.
I worked out four to five days a week during chemo to feel like myself.
WhenI lost my hairand my eyelashes and my eyebrows, I felt like I was watching myself fall off.
Everything that made memewas going away.
I remain hopeful for the future but grounded in the present.
I know anything is possible for the future, good and bad.
Right now, I am optimistic.
I want people to know that we are still living humans.
We don’t have an expiration date.
Nobody knows how long they have to live.
I’m not a cancer patient.
I’m me."
I have to remind myself I am alive right now and remember that.
People who know you personally don’t want to face the possibility that you might die.
People don’t like to talk about progression or having stage four breast cancer.
I mean, that’s what everyones trying to avoid.
It’s not giving up.
Because other days I feel like I’m thriving and I can live with this for a long time.
A good example is now: The meds are working and there’s no progression.
I want to live my life the way I want to, not as others want me to do.
My body feels better than it has in a long time.
So I think, like, Fuck yeah, this is great!
But it’s not a fight.
I can’t choose what I’m going through.
I want to live my life the way I want to, not as others want me to do.
And then on my good days, I feel awesome at living.
It doesn’t have to be one or another.
It doesn’t have to be black and white.
I feel more mentally healthy than I have in a long time.
ALEXIS, 39
When you see someone with metastatic breast cancer, often they look fine.
It looks like nothing is wrong.
You really live a double life.
I have my hair back now and youd never know.
You deal with side effects, fertility, your mortality, your femininity.
But you also have to keep on going.
You don’t have a choice.
It’s been a whirlwind.
When I found out I had stage four breast cancer, I thought I was going to black out.
I thought, Oh, my God!
I’m 33 and going to die.
In my mind, I thought I had done everything right.
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
The first few weeks and months were the hardest I had no idea what was ahead.
And I made peace with it.
You look fear in the face.
The worst thing thats going to happen has already happened.
When I came out of chemo, I wanted to get stronger.
I started weight lifting, went to the gym, and did heavy squats.
But as time has gone on, I dont really identify as much physically with that person.
I wanted my body to be strong.
I wanted to show other people I could be strong.
But it’s morphed into something else.
What I think of as strength isnt physical anymore.
I wanted to be a better version of myself than I was before.
Now I don’t feel that pressure.
You look fear in the face.
After such an extreme experience, you’re not as afraid.
That’s also a benefit from it.
The worst thing that’s going to happen has already happened.
I get up every day and do the best I can.
I mean, you don’t wanna say these things out loud, right?
You don’t want to jinx yourself.
But I feel well.
I’m still in this storm where things can change, but I’m living my life.
I push through with positivity, affirmations, sleep, meditations, exercise, and champagne.
MAGGIE, 31
Ballet has always been my first love.
I love the rules of it.
If it’s right, it’s right.
And if it’s wrong, it’s wrong.
There’s no in-between.
But you’re free to also still show your personality.
Ballet dancers aren’t all robots.
A tendu or leg extended in front can be beautiful.
And it’s the simplest movement in the world.
It’s not a flip.
It’s not a turn.
The simple steps are beautiful.
I’ve been a dancer my whole life and dance is my life.
I’m hopeful because you never know what’s around the corner.
I have a short life expectancy, but I’ve accepted it.
It’s been seven years and my mindset has changed.
Every year, new treatments come out and something new is discovered.
Instead of talking to someone, I can dance my feelings away.
Theres always a hard time before a good time.
Theres always something beautiful about a negative.
Read more stories about breast cancer.
Now watch Maggie’s journey with metastatic breast cancer in 6 photos.
