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As fate would have it, I even worked on a video shootwith DAY6forAllurein September 2019.
Courtesy of Represent
Jae hadn’t yet had that fateful car ride that convinced him he was on the road to death.
But most of all, K-pop stars seldom talkabout mental health.
However, 2020 made having a conversation with aK-pop starabout death seem fathomable.
Courtesy of Represent
In April, Jae was convinced he was having a heart attack.
Numbness trickled down each limb.
He was determined to appear as calm as possible, though.
Courtesy of Represent
There, doctors informed Jae that he wasn’t dying after all.
He was having apanic attackand was later diagnosed with panic disorder.
“Atlas dropped his boulder from my shoulder.”
Courtesy of Represent
Occasionally, he even got stage fright complete with quivering lips.
However, Jae brushed off these instances, telling himself to suck it up, keep moving forward.
Working non-stop for the past five years since DAY6 debuted in 2015 also distracted Jae.
He never let himself take time to seek help or learn more about mental health.
“I always assumed it was more like a mental block,” Jae shares.
“You just force yourself to do it,” Jae adds matter-of-factly.
And then at the end of the day, you’re free to say you did it."
Before April 2020, mental illness also seemed like a sign of weakness to Jae.
Then I realized [some] people physicallycan’tdo it," including himself.
“Recently, some of the members showed symptoms of psychological anxiety and received a detailed examination.
The medical advice was that they needed sufficient rest and stability,” the statement read.
For about a month and a half after the panic attack, Jae sought out exactly that.
“I had a period where I just literally laid on my bed,” Jae recalls.
I couldn’t make myself do anything.
I was still in shock, like, thisreallywent down.
[Then,] the meds started kicking in.
Medication israrelya part of K-pop’s mental health conversations.
(Last year, I started taking medication for panic disorder, too.)
Jae has heard them all, especially from others in the music field.
“Some people tell you they just feel numb andless artistic,” he notes.
But Jae is quick to dispel these myths as they didn’t apply to him.
“I feel like maybe my personality has chilled out a little bit,” he explains.
“But overall, everything musically, artistically stayed intact.”
Jae even continued working on eaJ Project throughout his DAY6 hiatus.
For a while, Jae was on the wrong medication, though one that he was severely allergic to.
Another misconception we both had: Mental health medication is a magic pill.
Once you’re on it, you’re fixed.
In his experience, “It just levels things off,” Jae says.
“You’re never too sad.
No super highs, no super lows, and you kind of get the middle of everything.
It really sucks when the lows hit, but I prefer this.”
Jae still doesn’t feel like he’s fully stabilized yet, either.
“I haven’t gotten super better,” he says.
It goes back and forth."
And that’s completely normal.
What triggers Jae’s panic attacks is also still a mystery to him.
“They come and go as they kindly,” he says.
“It fascinates me as well as pisses me off because I really like being in control.”
“I knew I was actually going through it…..It’s been clinically diagnosed.
That was the big thing for me.”
At first, Jae was scared to share his struggles with fans.
“It wasn’t a self-diagnosis.
I thought I was going to die.
I’m taking meds.
I’m starting to feel better.
It’s been clinically diagnosed.”
Instead, he hoped his story would illuminate the truth of the matter: Idols aren’t perfect.
People aren’t perfect.
You shouldn’t have to be.
“I thought I was going to die, might as well make a change.
I guess it starts now,” he remembers thinking to himself.
During our interview, I even find out my personal perception of Jae was incorrect.
After being around Jae in the past, I concluded he was the epitome of an extrovert.
Throw him into a crowded room, and he could start a conversation withanyonewhile seemingly enjoying himself.
Turns out, Jae has learned during his hiatus just how much he hates social interaction.
“I’m super antisocial and introverted,” Jae admits.
“Like super,superintroverted.
Essentially, we have to remember K-pop stars are no different from our family and friends.
They experience disappointment, stress, sadness, and get exhausted from beingonall the time.
They are no more perfect than any one of us, no matter what we do with our lives.
Soley talking about mental health wasn’t enough for Jae, though.
He wanted to take action to spread awareness beyond his words.
“I’m a very proactive person and like being involved,” he explains.
If I have an idea, I generally stem out the solution in my head [right away].
This demographic was his target all along, he says.
Jae wanted to verify they know how to manage their mental health in a healthy waynow not later.
“It wouldn’t have been as traumatizing as it has been.”
He doesn’t need more than half a second to think about it.
Mostly, it’s a word of caution, he says, but obviously gratefulness thatI’m alive.
I didn’t die.
Read more about mental health:
Now, watch DAY6 try nine things they’ve never done before:
