Or a facial lawyer?
At any rate, the media titan and skin-care founder always has a plan.
Its very matter of fact.
She continues, without emotion.
Maybe some filler under my eyes.
Oh, and I could stand somemicroblading in my eyebrows.
Before you blame her for being judgmental and mean, I should say that I absolutely asked for it.
Can I send a photo?
What should I do?
I am super honest: Okay, you should try this facial or this laser.
So you’re able to understand how Id want to get in on that.
But of course, she demurred at first.
Wed need to know each other better.
We are sitting in her glam room (her words) inside KKHQ in Calabasas, California.
Inside, its different.
Its like being inside the worlds most enormous and expensive cinder block.
At one point Kardashian and I walk past a creamy gray Bentley so also a garage?
Photographed by Danielle Levitt.
Fashion stylist: Kyle Luu.
Hair: Chris Appleton.
Makeup: Mario Dedivanovic.
Manicure: Kim Truong and Diem Truong.
Set design: Cooper Vasquez.
When this all goes to shit, Im going to start a consultancy firm.
But of course, all this isnt going to shit.
In the almost two decades that weve known her, Kim Kardashians star has only ascended.
But how do you do that for Kim Kardashian?
She was a kid in L.A.
Her dad was a lawyer in the Trial of the Century.
It is a nut like no other.
It is a very flavorful nut.
Alaia bodysuit and gloves.
Bvlgari bracelet and watch.
I have different energy when Im blonde, she says.
Im a totally different person.
Im more confident as a blonde, she says.
As soon as I go back to brunette, Im a boss.
Im also a totally different person when I have long, fake nails on.
I have so much confidence and I hate long nails!
Every once in a while, I need that bitchy-boss energy.
But when I have to write an essay, Im like, Get these nails off me!
I cant punch in.
Perhaps Kim Kardashian: Essayist isnt the first Kim Kardashian avatar that comes to mind.
But can we be surprised that she is taking on Joan Didion?
She seems to thrive on taking on more.
A couple of months ago, Kardashian launchedSKKN by Kim, a nine-step skin-care line.
I dont use all of it every day, but you have to have everything for a complete routine.
Last year, the mother of four also passed the California first-year law students exam (a.k.a.
the baby bar).
She plans to get her law degree.
My dad wouldve been so proud, she says of her late father, Robert Kardashian.
Youre so vain, you would never want this on your plate.
Vanity aside, she plans to do reform work, she tells me.
Schiaparelli Haute Couture corset bodice with brass Saturn ring.
Schiaparelli Haute Couture skirt.
Her gaze is unwavering, accentuated by hereyelashes.
Eyelashes that fan like theyre advertising eyeballs.
What do you have in your face right now?
I have my theories.
A little bit ofBotox, she says, pointing to the space between her brows.
But Ive chilled, actually.
Your lips and your cheeks?
Never filled either one, ever.
This I present as a fact, not a question.
Ive never had eyelash extensions.
Ive never done anything.
I have a drop ofmascaraon today.
Ive never filled my cheeks.
Ive never filled my lips.
Those are your real eyelashes?
Im not letting this go.
Its hard to believe.
I lean in, squinting.
I want to give her the benefit of the doubt here.
But your eyebrows look real so I kind of believe it.
No longer a magazine writer, I am now a professional trichologist sleuth.
Yeah, my eyebrows are real.
This goes on for a few more minutes, until she graciously lays it out for me.
I really, genuinely care about looking good, Kardashian says.
I probably care more than 90 percent of the people on this planet.
I do my beauty treatments usually late at night.
After everyones in bed, Im doinglaser treatments.
You do laser treatments after the kids go to sleep?
We have such different lives.
Kids or no kids, home laser treatments or no home laser treatments, we all get older.
I do my beauty treatments late at night.
After everyones in bed, Im doing lasers.
I hate my hands theyre wrinkly and gross.
Sure, okay, but… You didnt come out with a vitamin line, I note.
You came out with a skin-care line.
Because just before we metshe told theNew York Timesthat she would consider eating poop if it meant eternal youthfulness.
Maybe just a bite.
I dont think I can do a whole bowl.
I dont think your body could accept a whole bowl.
We nod in agreement.
Just a couple of cosmetic gastroenterologists hanging out on a couch, talking shop.
I always want to look appropriate.
Proximity to a celebrity usually carries tacit permission to stare.
But this is a whole new level.
So we demand the right to admire our work.
But unlike the Aphrodites of generations past, Kardashian wasnt born with it, she created it.
The vehicle for her message has been her own flesh and blood.
Her body is her canvas.
Admittance is free, except, of course, when it comes at the price of a little self-loathing.
And is body hyperbole ever actually body positive?
Image inspired by the work of Hugh Kretschmer.
I ask her if she feels responsible, even guilty, for setting an unrealistic, unattainable beauty standard.
If Im doing it, its attainable.
There are so many different beauty standards whether its Gwen Stefani,Jennifer Lopez, Marilyn Monroe.
When I was a teenager, [the look] was just blonde waifs.
She looked more like Kardashian.
It was always: Be yourself, find beauty in everything.
It was a roller coaster of emotions, she says.
You have [to wear] gloves and there are guards and you had to put down special paper.
This is Marilyns dress.
And it absolutely did not fit.
Then I got down 15 [pounds] and it fit.
I couldnt believe it.
It was really painful, and I had to go to a rheumatologist who put me on a steroid.
I was freaking out.
I cut out the meat again, and its calmed down.
On Kim Kardashian: Schiaparelli Haute Couture dress encircled with gilded brass hoops for a trompe loeil-cage effect.
But I had a nutritionist, I had a trainer.
I have never drunk more water in my life.
There are so many things out there that are so not accurate and not true.
I point out that I think it can be hard for people to have compassion for her.
I think Ive always just been the underdog.
Kardashian is worth an estimated gazillion dollars.
This is what Im thinking when I say, How have you been the underdog?
Being on a reality show and thats not respected, she explains.
Feeling like I need to work harder to show you guys that Im not the person you think.
I was in London with my boyfriend whos filming a movie and were only here two days.
But [the headline] is, Kim: Rejected!
I venture again to ask Kim Kardashian: Consultant what she would do to my face.
Now she sits up straighter and leans into me.
Clearly, we have stepped into her comfort zone.
Im a deodorant and toothpaste girl.
She returns to Botox: You really dont need a lot.
You look amazing, you really do.
And it occurs to me, the dynamics of our conversation have flipped.
Im the subject, shes the scrutinizer.
Its unnerving being analyzed like that.
Then, unexpectedly: I feel bad for her.
And I wonder whats worse: all that relentless, entitled staring or the day it stops.
What happens when it all goes away?
It would be amazing to retire being Kim K and just be a lawyer.
But if it all went away, I would be just as happy.
