The first time I asked a hairstylist to shave my head, she refused.
As I peered into the mirror, I saw that her version of my hair was a feminized version.
I didnt shave my head just to lookandrogynous, though that did feel good.
Channing Smith/Allure
Rather I wanted to de-socialize the gender prescribed to me, one that was untethered to my authentic self.
Gender begins with ones soul or ones interior life before it manifests into a hairstyle.
Weeks after that initial attempt, I finally gotmy first buzz cutfrom an Italian barbershop in Brooklyn.
Lim with a shaved head
I did not walk out more gender queer than when I entered.
I understand that it would appear that way on a visual level.
But the source of my gender identity is a quiet space between me and me.
Lim with a mullet
Iwasopening myself pansexually, but my new hair also gave me a fresh perspective.
My gender expression finally felt true to my inner being.
But with that, it can also threaten our safety.
B Paul
Changing my hair came with changing my name, but did either of those elements truly make me non-binary?
Cutting my hair allowed what I was feeling inside to physicalize, but it did not define my queerness.
My favorite aspect of being non-binary is not the “non” but rather an embracement of both genders.
Jessie
The choices I made for myself will not be the same for another non-binary person.
Hair is an external, vital element of queer identity, but it is not the whole.
A queer look invites the world into our identity, but it does not define one’s queerness.
Jorge Mendoza
B Paul
B Paul is currently out of the hair game and fighting cancer.
He was an owner of the hybrid tattoo/hair salonGracelandin Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
(B Paul is also my partner.)
Charlie Wo
It can be extreme in angles.
It’s a haircut that you will notice on the street if it is done well.
It’s all cyclical.
Mele
There is an edge to non-binary haircuts.
Non-binary haircuts are in-between, which tend to make them more creative.
Non-binary people live outside the gender norms, and I think in a way they celebrate that through hairstyles.
Lyda
So I started doing these cuts, because I couldn’t find someone else to do them.
Non-binary people live outside the gender norms, and I think in a way they celebrate that through hairstyles.
I used to do a lot of non-binary vintage hairstyles on men, trans men, lesbians.
Kate Woods
Pompadours what I love to call the John Dillinger haircuts, the prohibition haircuts.
Mustache grooming, too.
I am a big believer in the mustache on men, trans men, and women.
I remember giving a gender-affirming haircut to this one kid in particular named Owen.
Their reaction was awesome.
The more non-binary people come out and are accepted, the more none of that will matter.
People will be people, hair will be short or long, and not gendered.
There are two sides, but most people live somewhere in between, and that’s a beautiful thing.
Right now I work atBaddies Studio, a queer-owned barbershop in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.
I wasnt inspired personally or through my work.
It was absolutely conscious decision to switch to offering non-binary and queer cuts.
I do a lot of mullets and shags.
One of my favorite experiences was with a trans woman who had never had a professional cut or blowout.
When I turned her around for the reveal we both sobbed.
I’ll never forget that day.
I have client who is 12.
Id cry every time.
Right now, I shave the sides of my head.
I first got this look when I was home after a heartbreak.
I now do this every couple of weeks.
Along with being punk and rad, it lets people know not to fuck with me.
Charlie Wo
I do shows all throughout Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens area.
I don’t think my hair directly informs my gender expression, but it adds the perfect accessory.
Back in 2016, I decided I wanted to cut my hair off for the first time.
At first, it was a way to regain health to my hair.
But after having it short, I fell in love with my facial features so much more.
It made me feel beautiful and very sexy.
I felt closer to my real self with my shorter hair.
So I kept on cutting it to keep it short.
The best part of short hair hands down is just running your fingers all over your scalp.
The feeling feels so good.
Currently, I wear my hair in its natural state.
Once I stopped perming and using heat tools in my hair, I felt so much liberation.
I think it shows that any hairstyle isnt just for one gender.
Any hairstyle can work, regardless of identity, as long as it feels right to you.
I am not a woman, I’m non-binary, kindly don’t give me an arch shape."
And then they gave me this high arch.
It wasn’t me.
It’s so controlled.
I have been wanting to get a haircut.
I feel more confident in my appearance when it has a distinct point of view.
But I still haven’t gotten my hair cut.
It was really long.
and I cut off 10 inches.
Initially, it felt really, really good, because it felt like a rebirth in a sense.
I’d say, “No, we have different hair textures.
You have great hair, I have great hair.
There’s no such thing as that.”
My perception of myself is really what matters, or what needs to be paramount.
I would like for salons to not have women’s haircuts and men’s haircuts.
Especially, when there are women who have shaved heads.
That has never made sense to me.
But when I think of the future of non-binary hair, I don’t think of a hairstyle.
I would like to see the beauty industry de-gendered.
But it’s also hard, because I know that salons and barbershops can be reallysafe spacesfor cisgender people.
I don’t want anyone to feel like I am advocating for something to be taken away.
The thing that I know for sure and can trust is that my hair will keep growing.
Having it be longer helps complete my expression and it feels quite freeing to be letting it grow out.
I haven’t gotten a haircut or hairstyle yet because I think I’m still forming my own style.
The idea is the next form will be epitomized by a new hairstyle.
Now I feel happier, and I think my hair is happier too.
In general, I’m taking much better care of my hair for the jot down it is.
It’s continuing to flourish instead of getting damaged!
I wrap my hair in a towel now to help it dry.
I hope that doesn’t sound too self-important.
It feels like even in my towels, I can feel really proud of where I am.
Lyda
My hair has always been very connected to my queerness and queer journey.
I told myself I would buzz it by the end of 2021.
It was both terrifying and exhilarating.
It felt like a new chapter in my life was beginning.
Buzzing my hair was like shedding a skin; like letting go of a previous self.
The cut makes me feel sort of genderless, which I love.
I feel more queer than ever and more accepting of myself than ever.
Kate Woods
Hair has always been a part of my gender expression.
My first memory of cutting my hair “short like a boy” was in the 5th grade.
The movieGhosthad just come out, and I fell in love withDemi Mooreand her haircut.
My boyfriend promptly broke up with me for “looking like a boy.”
Growing up in the 1980s and 90s,having short hairwas a big deal.
My mother was in tears when I went home during break.
I got a reaction from my haircuts, and I loved it.
It’s just me.
It’s just me.
I never got the men’s rate even though my hair is short.
I doubt a man with long hair has ever had to pay for a women’s cut.
That culture needs to evolve and change to say the least.
These interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity.
