A womans cellulite made patterns like marble in the tattoo that stretched from her back down to her thighs.
There were dimpled bums shaking off the sand, hairy toes, and fully waxed torsos.
My feet are too small, my upper arms are too soft, my bum is too dimpled.
Illustration by Ana Jarén
Ah, but my elbow is stained red with psoriasis.
My highlights are growing out.
My jawline is weak.
This cycle persists no matter how hard I make a run at break it.
I criticize and compliment sections rather than looking at my body as a whole in and of itself.
I criticize and compliment sections rather than looking at my body as a whole in and of itself.
I dont look at the men drinking beer and compare their bellies to mine.
I see beauty in them, as I do in all bodies but my own.
I only compare myself to the standard, the ideal, and crucially other women.
This hyperanalysis has created a negative self-objectification in which my self-worth has become entangled with my self-image.
Why do I torture myself by doing this?
The beauty industry has a lot to answer for in the deconstruction of womens bodies too.
Trying to keep up with the pursuit of aesthetic improvement is all-consuming.
I shave my armpits daily.
I exfoliate and use depilatory cream on my legs weekly.
I dermaplane my face monthly.
I get lip filler twice a year.
I have googled buccal fat removal and what are hip dips within 48 hours of writing this.
Its an exhausting charade.
We obsess over managing facial and body features that were perfectly fine in the first place.
This is a capitalist trap.
It is a never-ending cycle, and we need to get off this ride.
It is a never-ending cycle, and we need to get off this ride.
This objectification can indeed contribute to body-part-focused thinking.
While it is more common among women, this experience of self-deconstruction isnt universal.
Not all women perceive their bodies as a collection of separate parts…. Now its just a matter of how much pride we have in said parts.
Body positivity in this sense is almost always presented with a sneaky sprinkling of passive-aggressive degradation.
Its a bait and switch.
It stands in the way of full acceptance and self-love for our body.
Now its just a matter of how much pride we have in said parts.
Is it even possible to stop seeking that control?
Is it possible to unlearn all of this noise?
Taking dance classes or drawing a full-body image of yourself, Dr. Bailey says, are good examples.
It would be impossible to do these things by focusing on one part of you.
Your whole body needs to be invited to the party for you to be there, she says.
I tried to stop zooming in.
Stop acting like a human magnifying glass or a metal detector for flaws.
Your body is worthy and does not need fixing.
Take a deep breath and look again.
