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For many humans, these choices might be a bit… eccentric.
She is willing to take risks: Its how she got here, after all.
John Wickis a miracle movie to me, she says.
Ive been doing auditions and self-tapes in the background of music for years, but I hadnt landed anything.
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Then I got a call from Chad Stahelski, the director, and hed seen my music videos.
He asked what I was doing for the next three months.
Id finished the bulk of my writing for the second record and had a gap in my schedule.
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I was in Berlin three days later.
The ink on the contract hadnt even dried when I began stunt training.
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A tour is easy compared to this, she says.
It was the most intense thing Ive ever done.
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In music, I know what Im doing onstage.
I know my groove.
But acting is completely new, and I was learning in a very high-pressure situation.
It taught me I can push myself even more.
But you push through," she adds.
Sawayama threw her back out the first day of drills and pushed through until production insisted she get help.
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After recovering, she went right back to work.
This role was a lucky break, but also one for which she set the stage.
I codirect some of my videos and write some of my videos, as well.
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The intention she set came true.
They gambled that she could learn a little more.
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I feel fortunate that I was given such a mysterious character, Sawayama says.
She has her own life, she has depth.
When I was little, watching Asians onscreen meantMemoirs of a Geisha.
In hindsight, I recognize that it was an exploitative movie.
But we only had moments like that.
And now, were in a great time for storytelling.
With moments like what happened at the Oscars withEverything Everywhere All at Once.
Its an Asian story that won!
A story about identity, its not just about the immigrant experience.
Its about queerness, as well.
It makes you fall in love with filmmaking.
Its a chance for her to delve deeper into storytelling as performance.
On tour, she does her own makeup to ground herself before performing.
It gives me something to do off my phone, and its very ritualistic.
I do something different every night, she explains, lighting up at the memories of glitter and possibility.
Can you pass me the palette you showed me before?
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I mentioned that Sawayama was bleaching her eyebrows.
I dont want to be stereotyped for my looks.
I dont want to look anime," she says.
“Its been such a consideration.
I dont want to look like a stereotype of Asian people, of Japanese women, in particular.
And he totally got that.
But Sawayama is no stranger to the unfortunate moments of beauty politics.
Ive had some crazy experiences, she says.
As a model, I was cast for a Japanese Harajuku street-style moment and I was already suspicious.
This was for a tea company.
When I got to the event, they gave me a full geisha look.
I didnt know what the fuck I was walking into.
Ive had my guard up since then.”
I dont have a nose bridge, so you cant light me the same way.
When they get it right, Sawayama notices.
Still, shes had to knock down doors, even in places she considers home.
Music is a nonpolitical space!
I just said that LGBTQ rights are human rights.
Japan has no protection for queer people.
You see that so clearly in movies and in music.
I could have just tweeted at them and said something shady.
But my team suggested we do something that might create a change in the long game.
Its funny, I feel like my degree has somehow come into play.
Shes referring to her degree in political science from Magdalene College, Cambridge.
Music is, indeed, political.
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Music is a nonpolitical space!
I just said that LGBTQ rights are human rights.
Japan has no protection for queer people.
Being told your welcome is conditional is a lot to bear.
“That might come from the queer community, from the Asian community.
And Im part of the community.
Why arent you supporting me?
So now, I dont read a single review.
I dont watch them.
Or, it seems, her politics, her queerness, fundamental things about who or how she loves.
To transform, in spite of the barriers, no matter the consequences.
To be a chameleon, armored with beauty, luck, and a lot of will.
I want to leave the moment on a high of possibility.
“I want everyone to go home feeling more themselves.
The moment is only ever happening once.
When people listen, when they connect, thats special.
Thats healing to me.
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