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London is playing its part perfectly: drizzling, biting cold, gusts of leaves harassing pedestrians.
Balenciaga dress.
It is only late afternoon, but dark enough for the streetlamps to buzz on.
This is Londons signature season: frozen between fall and not quite winter.
I love this place, saysVictoria Beckham.
Victoria Beckham Beauty Lid Lustre in Velvet and Victoria Beckham Beauty Posh Gloss in Poolside.
I live just down the road.
It reminds me a little bit of New York in the 90s.
Beckham had walked in a moment earlier, and everyone in the restaurant was working hard not to notice.
Saint Laurent dress and shoes.
Despite her diminutive frame, she is highly noticeable.
In defense of my fellow patrons, it is hard to look away.
We scooch (one of us more gracefully than the other) into the corner banquette.
Victoria Beckham Beauty BabyBlade in Medium Brown, Victoria Beckham Beauty Reflect Highlighter Stick in Pearl, and Victoria Beckham Beauty Posh Lipstick in Pop.
I just finished shooting my pre-collection, Beckham explains, apologizing for being half an hour late.
Thenwith beauty, we just launchedthree fragrances.
I always had to work very hard just to be okay at anything.
Victoria Beckham dress and shoes. Falke tights.
Do I like that one?
This was the first wine you drank here, says the manager.
You said you loved it.
Then, sotto voce, he confides: I got some in just for you.
Victoria Beckham is now 49.
Beckham turns to me.
I mean, are we going to drink a bottle?
I guess we could try?
Victoria Beckham Beauty Lid Lustre in Velvet and Victoria Beckham Beauty Posh Gloss in Poolside.
Ive been with Victoria Beckham for 10 minutes and am already acutely aware of my vaguely grotesque humanness.
For one thing, Beckham doesnt wrinkle, and neither do her clothes.
Every inch of her is intentional, a study in the defiance of laziness.
When aliens beam down to planet Earth, I vote for Victoria Beckham as ambassador.
It will be a meeting of two life forms from a higher plane.
The aliens will absorb her superhuman flawlessness and maybe recognize her as one of their own.
Shes our best chance at intergalactic peace.
Do you ever sit on the couch and eat potato chips?
I ask, holding out hope.
Its got to be about balance.
Im not saying shes lying.
Im obsessed with brows my husband has never seen me without my eyebrows.
But Im here to encroach.
Dont we all want to know what lies beneath the manicured facade?
Of course we do, because the real person is more interesting than the image on the billboard.
What was the last thing you and David fought about?
The last thing we fought about?
She furrows her brow, sort of.
I might have to come back to you on that because I cant remember the last time we fought.
The conversation turns back to business.
Thats a tough thing to accomplish, she says, clearly proud.
I have built two successful businesses.
Fashion is now profitable, beauty is profitable.
Of course, she is not all business.
She repeats this madness five days a week.
Scratch that sheisall business.
Makeup is my thing.
Probably the only thing I was any good at in school was art.
A waiter appears with two wine glasses, each the size of a cantaloupe.
He yanks the cork out of the bottle and pours.
Ive always had to work really hard, Beckham continues.
At school, I had to work really hard to get less-than-average grades.
I was an alright dancer.
I was an alright singer.
People were very quick to say, You cant sing.
I can joke about it better than anybody.
Ill take the mickey out of myself.
She deliberates, and then puts a bit of the mickey back.
I mean, obviously, I could sing a little.
But I always had to work very hard just to be okay at anything.
Thats why the Spice Girls worked: Individually we were underdogs, but collectively we worked.
Saint Laurent dress and shoes.
For the rest of us, being 20% of a 90s pop phenomenon would be career enough.
For Beckham, it was a means to an end: My passion was always fashion.
Its what I always wanted to do.
I just never knew how to get there.
There is now here.
Im obsessed with brows my husband has never seen me without my eyebrows.
AndInstant Brightening Waterline Pencilto make my eyes look more awake.
Makeup is my thing.
Probably the only thing I was any good at in school was art.
School was a defining era for Victoria Adams, as she was then known.
I was bullied a lot.
(Technically, she has spoken about this before.
But its a tale worth retelling.)
How old were you?
Gosh, I suppose 11 or 12?
I never fitted in socially.
And when anybody is different, kids can be really mean, says Beckham.
I remember being mentally bullied, physically bullied, literally pushed around.
Its a short walk between remembering your own childhood and judging the one youve built for your children.
Go up and talk to that little girl.
I never fit in socially.
Kids can be really mean.
I remember being mentally bullied, physically bullied, literally pushed around.
My entire school life was a misery, an absolute misery.
Kids can be bloody horrible, says Beckham.
I would never, ever allow my children to treat anybody like that.
I know everybody thinks their kids are angels, but my kids are genuinely very kind.
Thats the most important thing, isnt it?
Has bullying served a purpose in her life?
It gave me a tough skin for what was to come next, she says.
I never really talk about it because we had this British tabloid culture.
It can be…challenging, shall we say.
She pauses to take a sip of wine.
She takes out her lipstick (her own Bitten Lip Tint) and dabs it on.
At this point everyone in the restaurant is openly staring.
But say you have to work really hard your whole life to just be…okay.
Singing, dancing, studying, whatever your biggest enemy is your own mediocrity.
So the fight becomes your superpower.
You unlock the miracle of discipline.
It leads you to fame and riches and unimaginable success.
The last thing youre going to do is relinquish that.
Maybe the real heristhe self-controlled disciplinarian she presents to the public (and profile interviewers).
Her own husband has never seen her real eyebrows.
We see precisely what she wants us to see.
Its the ultimate control.
And theyre all very humble kids they really are.
Its not easy to imagine Victoria Beckham wiping off her dagger-length pink gel tips on an apron.
Youve got to get to know who they are, she says, articulating the sole purpose of parenthood.
Youve got to support and encourage and guide that.
Rules in the Beckham house are simple: Work hard.
Making eye contact is important.
Be polite, shake hands, those kinds of things, she says.
Were both strict parents without wanting to stifle them too much.
Theyre also both worriers: I still check on [her 12-year-old daughter] Harper when shes in bed.
We all say I love you before we fly.
From the minute you find out youre pregnant, you worry.
And, as with any family, there are the moments that knock the wind out of you.
Youre the best mommy.
You work so hard, and look at everything youve achieved.
Youre my best friend.
But it was more than a career recap of one of the worlds greatest soccer players.
David joked, We need to go out and lap this up more often.
It made me laugh, when I come up on the screen: David Beckhams wife.
You came across really well.
I was like, Hang on!
Im the one people think is really unfriendly!
Victoria Beckham is nothing if not self-aware.
But I think people then saw the real me.
If Id been all over it in a controlling way how do I look from this angle?
maybe the outcome wouldve been very different.
Its not as if theres footage of her nap-drooling or putting toothpaste on a blemish.
She is just as poised and in control on camera as she is off.
In her defense, though, she can occasionally be a bit messy.
In any case, Beckham gives no indication that she thinks being controlling is a bad thing.
Victoria Beckham dress and shoes.
I’m involved in every aspect of the business with both fashion and beauty, says the control freak.
Theres not a single thing that goes out that I don’t see.
Was everything else just a precursor to having your own fashion and beauty lines?
What, you mean Spice Girls?
Im at my happiest in design meetings or in the creative beauty meetings, says Beckham.
This is where I belong.
Spend enough time with Victoria Beckham and you realize she may have passed this sensibility on to her daughter.
Harper is obsessed with makeup, obsessed with beauty, she notes.
It was so funny.
She was like, No, its fine, Daddy.
The world of beauty and the proclivities of young girls can go hand in hand or toe to toe.
The relationship is just that fraught.
At one end of the tightrope, makeup is fun and empowering!
And at the other end, true beauty comes from within.
Its a tension of opposites that young women and their mothers have long had to navigate.
[Yesterday Harper said,] Ive got a gap in my teeth, Mommy.
And Ive got that little mole right here.
Im like, Thats your lucky gap.
A few years ago, Beckham publicly acknowledged having herbreast implantsremoved.
I ask whether Harper knows about that.
If Im honest, I wish Id never [gotten implants].
But were not there just yet.
What has she found on the doorstep of 50?
I feel very accomplished, personally, professionally, Beckham continues.
This is the start of a new chapter.
Ive spent years creating the foundation.
Now I can start building the house.
Sticking with this metaphor, I pry initiate the door.
Or do you ever look in the mirror and think, Damn, I look great?
Ive never done that.
I didnt do it when I was 20.
I didnt do it when I was 30.
I didnt do it at 40.
And then the Burgundy makes me say, I dont believe you.
She raises her eyebrows at me.
Were doing this.You have never looked in the mirror and thought that you look great?
As women, I think a lot of us do that.
I never thought I looked terrible.
But I don’t look back and go, Oh, God, I wish I was that again.
Its not as if Im getting older and Im like, Oh, Christ!
she says, rolling her eyes in mock agony.
[The aging process] has always been more than that.
She raises her glass to me, her fellow 49-year-old.
The manager appears again, and Beckham looks up.
Thank you so much, she says.
You were right: That is a very lovely wine.
Then shes quiet for a minute.
We both look out the window.
I cried when I saw the last scene of the documentary, she tells me.Finally, we get here.
The slightest crack in the door, the slightest chink in the armor.
Despite the high production values, it is all very human.
It was an emotional experience, she says.
Her voice trails off.
She smiles to herself.
Its pitch-black outside now.
The drizzle has turned to rain.
I get why it made her cry.
I wonder if it was all worth it.
No amount of discipline can stop the passage of time.
