Welcome toDoing It, a column by sex educator and writer Varuna Srinivasan.
Nefeli was in a marriage for over 12 years before she and her partner decided to open things up.
Someone in apolyamorous relationshipcan have more than one relationship at a time.
Bella Geraci/Allure
Everyone involved is aware of and consents to being in the relationship.
Swinging, open relationships, and"monogamish"relationship types all fall under this umbrella.
After 11 years of monogamy where even flirting was considered cheating, we opened our relationship up.
Many couples might opt to close off their polyamory to romantic and emotional attachments.
“After considering our options, we decided to fully kick off the relationship in 2021.
He took it a lot better than I expected.”
Whether or not a couple finds joy in polyamory is dependent on the existing foundations of their relationship.
A new structure might work best for someone who is already in a stable and loving partnership.
Remember: Polyamory can’t fix a relationship.
If you are contemplating opening your own relationship up or exploring ethical nonmonogamy, consider the following tips.
Establish a relationship framework.
How do you two want to structure your relationship?
Couples who open their relationship can choose to structure their relationships in two ways: hierarchically or non-hierarchically.
This can go beyond sex, developing into something romantic or emotional.
This includes prioritizing yourself and your needs, as it relates to different partners.
Innon-hierarchical polyamory, there are no primary partners nor anchors.
Everyone in the relationship is prioritized the same and big decisions are made together as a group.
Communicate effectively and set clear boundaries.
Strong communication andclearly laid-out boundariesare the best way to approach that initial entry into the polyamory world.
Ask yourself, even if youthinkyou already know: What are your boundaries?
Or perhaps something in the middle?"
Practice safe sex and dont be afraid to talk about sexual health.
If youre daunted, you’re free to always take a break, then take another crack.
Ultimately, the choice to explore polyamory is yours.
Just understand that the journey is not one size fits all.
Take the time to enjoy the process.
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