Welcome toDoing It, a column where sex educator Varuna Srinivasan explores the deep connections between sex and emotions.
This month, we hear from a professional dominatrix to learn what her day-to-day life is really like.
Given our societal taboos and pearl-clutching toward all thingskink, depictions of dominatrixes are still relatively rare in media.
London Vagabond/courtesy of Eva Oh
Even rarer still areaccurateportrayals of this highly skilled and sought-after yet nevertheless stigmatized profession.
But what does a real-life dominatrix’s job actually entail?
Eva Ohis a full-time dominatrix with a thriving practice in London.
Photo: Getty Images / Design: Bella Geraci
13 years ago, a boyfriend encouraged Oh, to become a dominatrix because of similar reasons.
While it was meant to be a joke, she started seriously looking into it.
Thankfully, Google’s “safe search” was off.
Photo: Getty Images / Design: Bella Geraci
A dungeon based in Australia was looking for people to train.
One phone call, three questions and a reading list later, and Oh has never looked back.
As we chatted on the phone, I found myself hanging onto her every word.
Oh generously shared details about her fascinating journey and experiences with me for this column.
Allure:What does a day in your life look like?
Eva Oh:A day in life so much more different now than it did back then.
The first job was with the dungeon in Australia.
My first week on the job, I would just shadow anyone else who was willing to have me.
When I started, I had to do a minimum of three shifts a week of eight hours each.
Allure:What is it like in the dungeon?
Like any business, I assume there are logistics.
The house gets 40 percent of whatever the fee’s going to be, and you get 60 percent.
[The house] would handle the booking; they would handle the person coming in off the street.
It was all quite easy.
Allure:You mentioned getting to the dungeon and working with people who simply walked in.
How would you know what they wanted, and how a session would go?
They were just fresh off the street.
Allure:What kinds of questions?
EO:[Questions like,] What kind of porn do you watch?
What about that was interesting for you?
I also ask them to tell me their desires.
Like even their vanilla self, you know likenon-kink stuff.
Allure:Can you tell us more of what happens during a session?
If you could share more with us, that is.
EO:Oh, I disclose a lot of details on mypodcast but I wont mention any names.
I would say that everybody is so different.
First and foremost, I introduce them to the concept of a safe word.
Playing with the concept of maybe atiny bit of pain.
It could just be nails going against the chest and just drawing them in.
That said, I would say some of the common things that people were interested in is that.
I mean, people with prostates tend to gravitate towards anyanal playa lot.
And lot of people absolutelylove feet.
There’s a sexualized aspect to feet for so many people.
Water sports was also commonly of interest in the dungeon.
Strangely, not out of the dungeon, but in the dungeon it was very, very much requested.
Allure:And water sports is like agolden shower, correct?
EO:Correct, correct, yeah.
Being used just like a toilet.
Allure:And [are people] expected to have sex with the clients?
Is there any penetrative sex that happens at all?
EO:It’s very rare that you hear anybody doing any penetrative sex.
It depends, I guess, where you are and what you consider a risk.
Allure:I think you have done such a great job of building this kind of ecosystem around you.
What are you working on now?
EO:Well, now I have a closed-book system and I charge 10 times more than I did.
As a result, I [work] with a select few.
I decided I needed an online product so I created my membership site.
People just sign up and they’re doing retroactive courses that I created a while ago.
Allure:Is this the “How to Be a Submissive”: course?
For example, I focus a lot on feet and in teaching people how to worship it.
To learn more about Eva Ohs work, you could follow her onInstagramorvisit her website.
This interview has been condensed and lightly edited for clarity.