Welcome toDoing It, a column where sex educator Varuna Srinivasan explores the deep connections between sex and emotions.
This month, they speak with experts and people living withvaginismusabout the realities of living with this under-researched condition.
Have a question or story idea for Dr. Srinivasan?Submit it here.
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The vagina is a remarkable organ.
It connects the uterus to the outside of the body.
When aroused, it has the power to self lubricate and elongate, making the process of penetration pleasurable.
But sometimes, despite these accommodations, women can experience pain or discomfort during sex.
These one-off instances can be attributed to many different things, like vaginal dryness or a particular position.
As long as these moments of pain are rare, theyre typically nothing to worry about.
However, consistently experiencing pain, before, during or after sex is a situation that warrants more attention.
The ACOG estimates that vaginismus affects1 to 6% of women.
The symptoms themselves can, in a way, make the condition worse.
The treatment for vaginismus varies based on the individual and whats causing the condition for them.
This means being able to use a dilator of a particular size without experiencing pain.
People who have vaginismus are more likely to suffer fromdepression, anxiety and suicidal ideation.
Every person who has vaginismus has a unique journey.
We did not venture to have sexual intercourse until we were married because everything felt really painful.
After we got married, it was very much the same, so I went to see the gynecologist.
He said my anatomy was normal and recommended some lidocaine cream to numb the area.
(PS: This does not work!)
It is really easy to compare yourself to other people.
We often dont know about it unless we specifically go looking for that information.
Vaginismus also plays withbody imageand self acceptance.
I think the treatment for something like vaginismus should not only include physical therapy but also mental therapy.
Learning that you have vaginismus involves a heavy load of work.
That said, there are many ways to overcome that initial shock.
I have been able to use my therapy tools to accept it and thereby love myself a bit more.
This diagnosis paved a way to know more about my body.
It also strengthens your bond.
Amina, 35, UK
I always got really anxious when it came to penetrative sex.
I also actively avoided getting a pap smear test for years.
Other than this, I am a fairly easy patient.
All of the above significantly impacted my mental health.
I went to multiple doctors and none of them put me at ease.
Nobody ever gave me a name for it.
I was just told this was rare and that most women find penetrative sex enjoyable.
I was never offered dilators or therapy or anything else.
I was mainly told to just relax.
Often the emotional toll it takes makes it harder to navigate the situation.
I was diagnosed with vaginismus in 2018.
I was totally lost because I never had issues with sex before and [my symptoms] started randomly.
I felt broken and like less of a woman.
Seeking treatment was life changing and I wish I did it sooner.
I unnecessarily suffered for too long.
Its as much an emotional and mental issue as physical.
Seeking the right medical team at the start can help you immensely.
