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And it was true: Iwasstill a virgin at 22.
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When it comes down to it, the strongest feeling I associate with my lack of experience is shame.
It can also lead to unsafe sex based on a lack of knowledge.
She recommends looking into websites likeScarleteento educate yourself on the basics of sex education and safety.
I love it for that."
Scarleteen offers advice on everything from communicating sexual boundaries, to leaving an abusive relationship, to using condoms.
Education is also an excellent way to explore your sexuality on your own terms.
Feeling inexperienced can create a lot of anxiety.
“I always tell people to look for the blogs.
Dirty Lola recommends checking outThe Redhead Bedhead.
Podcasts like Shameless Sex, Girl Boner, and Sex With Dr. Jess are also great listens.
Its also important to remember that anxiety around sex is totally normal.
After all, its an incredibly intimate thing.
Luckily, there are a number of ways to work through it.
Whats helpful is understanding where the anxiety is stemming from.
Working with a therapist to reroute unhelpful thought patterns and beliefs can help.
Furthermore, if you havesexual trauma, this can also cause anxiety around sex.
Federico recommends working with a somatic sexologist fortrauma resolution work.
Boundaries are essential for everything in life, perhaps particularlywhen it comes to sex.
It just takes a little practice.
Not every person we date is going to become a sexual partner, and thats totally fine.
“You may not even get to that moment,” explains Dirty Lola.
After all, sex is intimate.
Also, its completely fine to let them share first.
This can help direct you in sharing your own experiences and help make communicating easier and more open.
Part of becoming more comfortable with sex is knowing what you like.
So yeah, weretalking about masturbating.
“Most sex shops do some kind of education,” says Dirty Lola.
