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Welcome toDoing It, a column where sex educator Varuna Srinivasan explores the deep connections between sex and emotions.
Design: Bella Geraci; Source image: Getty Images
This month, they dive into why so many women get turned on by dirty talk.
Have a question or story idea for Dr. Srinivasan?Submit it here.
The term for this auditory turn-on is sexual auralism, where one gets aroused or excited by sounds.
Plus, those clips don’t leave much (if anything) to the imagination.
But this doesnt necessarily mean that our gender determines the medium through which we find sexual gratification.
It all depends on context and content.
The good news: Anyone can get into dirty talk!
These signal to your partner that youre turned on, she says.
From there, you’re free to start describing what it is that you like.
For example, that feels so good, or I love it when you touch me like that.
Dirty talk isnt just dirty talk; it’s vital feedback and communication.
Mina, 20, Egypt
Sounds are such a big factor for me.
I think it is one of the biggest things that turns me on.
It is actually through my journey listening to erotica that I learned about my love for sounds during sex.
Its such a fun way to spice things up.
I like to know if my partner is turned on, more about what they enjoy and find sexy.
Honestly it also stresses me out if i’m not sure what my partner is feeling.
Even if it’s not technically dirty talk, the minimum requirement is knowing my partner is turned on.
I do it with (almost) every intimate experience that I have.
I really like dirty talk when its whispered, almost like ASMR in the ear.
It helps get the rest of my senses in tune with the experience I am about to have.
Also who doesn’t like being called a “good girl” every now and then?!
I really enjoy ASMR whispering and listening to audios of other peoples masturbation noises while I masturbate too.
Audio can take you into a whole new world, set the scene.
I tend to like something with a good beat or groove.
Love Language by Juls and Lemonade by Ria Sean are songs that definitely put me in a mood.
Dirty talk helps bring me into the present by focusing on and talking about what’s physically happening.
Now I just use those memories along with my imagination as fodder when I masturbate.
My millennial ass also really just loves 2000s R&B likeGinuwine(IYKYK).
I think dirty talk involves more trust and it takes a while for me to get there.
I rely more on music.
I dont like having sex with no music on.
I sort of fancy Mark Knopflers voice, so someDire Straitssongs, like Fade to Black, are great.
I think having music in the background eases my anxiety.
I find that I really do have a better time when its involved.
And when the person moans back to me, it’s also incredibly hot.
When I masturbate, I rely on erotic stories, sounds, and moans.
And my go-to sex song is Coffee by Sylvan Esso.
It adds to the intensity and it really does turn me on, which exponentially adds to my pleasure.
You know, a bit of live action role play.
When it comes to audio erotica, I need that visual element as well, especially when I masturbate.
It brings out a lot of intimacy.
Fire for You by Cannons is playing in the background.
The first time I watched it, I thought, OMG that song is the one.
Its the only one that can spice up the mood all day, every day.
Recently I stumbled uponQuinn, which is an app for audio erotica and I am in love with it.
*Interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity.
